When I
was in college I went through a stage where I wanted to very much stay true to
my beliefs… well, at least what I thought my beliefs were at the time. I
remember going to parties and getting into drunken conversations. During
these conversations, I vehemently and unrelentingly defended my views against
the drunken melee, convinced if their value.
I
wanted to be real, you know.
In
retrospect, the scene is rather comical; and no doubt must have provided
endless hours of entertainment to the more enlightened. But I had the strong
conviction of (headstrong) youth.
I
persisted night after night, trying to hold true to my beliefs. But every
night, I would eventually find myself giving in to the influences of my
environment for one reason or another.
I
remember being angry with myself for a long time. I grew ever more frustrated
as I renewed my commitment before every new party; and suffered the same
disappointment at the end of each night.
Finally
one night, I realized there was no way I could stay true to my beliefs. My
interaction with the people around me inevitably changed me, and I would lose
my center.
So what is Centering?
Many of
you may know Centering as: being present, being in the moment, being at one,
being mindful, or being in the zone. If this definition is still a little
ambiguous, do not be concerned. In my experience, most people who throw
around such terms do not necessarily have a clear understanding of what they
are attempting to describe.
Let's do
an easy exercise to explain my point.
Imagine
for a moment that you need to find your way to New York or to San Francisco.
Most of you have a clear idea of where theses cities are. And if you
don't, you can easily pick up a map and locate them. Therefore, finding their
locations should not cause you any appreciable difficulties.
However:
Could you find your way there if I dropped you in the middle of a forest 20
miles outside of Teresina, with nothing to help you reference your location?
Without a trusty GPS, it may be a little more difficult for most of us to find
our way.
So what
is missing? What information do we need?
Yes, that
is correct. First you need to find out where Teresina is, and where you are.
This simple example illustrates quite nicely the concept of Centering.
Remember
the story of my college days at the beginning of this blog? Every interaction
we have in our lives takes us away from our Center. In retrospect, I really was
struggling with figuring out how to find my Center and hold onto it. At that
time, I had just begun my mind body pursuits and was opening up to the larger
functions of my mind.
Centering
is: "Knowing who you are, in relation to the forces and influences
of the environment that surround you."
You may
say, of course I know who am. I've known that since I was a child.
But, do
you really know who you are?
To
illustrate my point, ask yourself the question: "Who am
I?" Take a few minutes to write down a description of who
you think you are.
[Please,
bear with me, and do the exercise now. I guarantee that if you do the exercises
as soon as they come up in this blog (and in my book), you will get the most
out of the exercises.]
Now look
at your description.
Your
self-description may have described aspects of your physical appearance and
perhaps your occupation. It may have even highlighted some of your mental
abilities, preferences, and emotional tendencies. But once again, I ask you:
Who are
you? Is this who you really are?
Consider
the following:
Are you
the same person you were a year ago? Are you the same person that you
were an hour ago? Do you act the same way with your boss as you do with your
loved ones?
Let’s be
overly simplistic for a moment. The mind operates in two basic ways: either we
change the world around us, or we are changed by the world around
us. I define these two ways as Active Action and Passive Action. In every
exchange or conversation we have, our minds are shaped and changed in some way.
Some of
these mind changes are temporary, while some aspects are more permanent. Yet,
underneath it all, we still have an overall notion of who we are. This sense of
self is not only cognitive (what we think), but also encompasses emotional
(how we feel) and physiological (physical body) aspects. These three
aspects of our Selves — cognitive emotional, physiological -- are interwoven so
tightly together that it is difficult for us to separate them.
Take a
moment and think about the last time you had an argument or a difficult
conversation. What was the impact on your mental state, and what was the impact
on your emotional state? How did it make you feel physically? Strong emotional
changes tend to have great impact upon us. They can be strong forces of
inspiration, or they can be forces that unbalance us.
Some of
these changes are desirable and some are not. In either case, we are affected.
Generally, it takes some time to process and let go of the effects before we
regain our balance. Sometimes after processing, we can gain greater insight and
grow stronger. But there is, inevitably, a period of imbalance where we may
lack clarity, drive or direction.
As with
the San Francisco analogy where we were dropped into unfamiliar ground, we need
to find our way back to something that we recognize. Although our sense of self
is continuously evolving, we do carry with us at all times a general sense of
who we are.
Centering
in its simplest form is being closer to this core sense of self. Centering is
what the word suggests. Centering is finding your self within the confusion of
your surroundings. Centering is finding your point of reference on the map of
your life. Centering is separating your self from the influences in your
environment and getting in touch with your true essence. This may all sound a
little esoteric, but both its implications and applications are extremely
practical.
Please
take a moment to share your views on Centering.
If
you would like to explore more about Centering, check out the Finding Your
Center workshop. http://www.selfmastery.com/workshops/index.html
